I want to make songs good enough to make milo think it’s okay I don’t want to study philosophy till my hair turns grey, I hope that Aiden sends me a beat to this poem soon, he's got the 8 ball beat knowledge like my good friend MFaidoom. The only thing my father has given me is a memory that is not even mine, I try to tell it at parties but the guys no they don’t seem to like, it- it’s about flying over the desert seeing fireworks in the sky, bright flashing lights while i whispered “i am stagnating” to my best friend sitting by my side. Sorry Rory, I don't know any good writers, I only really read the three graphic novels I like, my girlfriend is the only one I’d really want to bring on tour but I doubt that she’d have time. That's the best part about it though, I’d want her to do her own stuff, filmed by wes anderson while we got married, talk shop. I got this funny way of pushing things, I don't grow right, like a tree too far to your left, sike, your far right, If I wanted to change I probably couldn't try and sing these songs, apparently that’s all I have after you died, trying so hard to keep you alive. I guess that’s why I relate, Milo, I’m sorry your voice hasn't helped me when I’m hiding out in my room, I’ve tried to look for some answers through the metaphors on Genius, Is it just so I can resurrect him in songs? Tomine can’t even draw this on the cover, only I’ve seen this (shit). I swear I can’t even get my girl to text me, trying too hard to be sexy, draping pictures over dead beats, I can hear them drunk in the back of the phone call again. Saying I got nothing left to test me. I got nothing left to test me. I wanna wake you up I wanna read you poems I want you to hear you cry Wherever we’re going. I wanna fall asleep I wanna lose the sighs Keep falling in love And keep on falling.

I went too far back /in your instagram / forgot the fact of why we even met / Dont know why you ride with me / undermine the ways that i could’ve been / you smell like nothing and feel like friendship, i want this time to be so different / dont wanna feel so selfish / i dont get mad you or the things you do, and hopefully / i can relate to you without you having to relate back to me / or try to be things in my head that i thought id seen. my medicine will be our walks, that help i try to get to get to talk/ to her / the pressure off her arched back in the living room blur / we laugh a lot more / thanks to my new friend /no longer a nuisance to my girl/ shes been holding my hand being more true since/ when im making music that seems more apparent / i hear that your sharing / its making me happy / hoping I can be more calm / but how long will you just wanna sit and talk? / before i get so boring and I hear you snoring / just like her. The windows down / im singing so shitty / its so hard to find / people to stick by me / you sing your song / you say youd wanna/ sing along to songs about you.

for matt, my beloved friend, you inspire me to make music and live even in my loneliness lyrics Im just trying to get this project out, under false pretenses that itll make me feel better though. Just cause i refrence nothing and keep it vauge, so we keep it real but cant relate. But its kinda strange that i woke up on sunday, watched mac mill videos all day, thinking shit that could be anyone and then you came like the rise of a setting sun. I just hope god that you understand, and weigh the value of what you meant, I loved you very very very much matt. The sadness feeling too surreal, crying but i cannot feel. songs i listened to in the darkest times. the one who came and helped me heal, now taken but no i won't kneel, when we were dating I told my girl about your rhymes. And its taken and misunderstood, i thought i was lonely before, but now that you’ve left and we’re left alone without you here anymore. I wrote down, a little page for you, not meant for your facebook wall to view. Think that it could be pretty benifical to help get all the feelings through. The hum you refenced to fall asleep is the hum that i now really need. Is it time to grow up? Hope I don’t fuck up? Will someone i know copy me? Honest when no texts me back, well i dont need that, I’d just throw on some A B spaceshow, in the way back, joe would send me shit from way back. dance along and sing along your songs, and now i find myself at home. And hum to your poems, now im on my own. But when i seventeen i heard you sing “i have time it seems”, and i cannot help but hear you laugh, and all the fucking irony, your mine to keep, more than texts and songs that we sent back, sometimes i cant even make it to my bed i just lay down where i stand. Can you sing one last song to me? To help me sleep through the night. Can you hum that tune for me? So i can be 12 again, learning all your songs in my bedroom, doing what kids do, so depressed in middle school. Here’s one for you, to help you too, be at peace, through the night.

One two. If this the last call then im leaving message to step in the booth. I assume that when you spit that it is atleast the truth I hope the women who lies with you when youre 33 or 32 believes it too. You can bet that my struggle aint real The month she left you were taken by god, oh what a steal. (I cant conceal) I think it no coincidence, for the shaky weepy ephemeral bliss that i found in it, proceeds me to the same place over and over, pushing a boulder, past the summit, you better believe that its the truth i give. And if in every song i sing the same story, you can bet its something thats getting to me. Holy shit, its really coming down now feeling kinda bound now to the air and space that you left me here with, forgiving but never forgetting shit, im on my new shit trying to cook up something, but i cant cook, thats insignificant, an outsider that stays inside, my brother said that, magnificent. Im mostly boasting milo told me i could do it, but my baby its movement, wanna ride in the ruby yacht, thats my truth it. Seems attractive in your despondent eyes, the truth that im still running tryna find. So i stole it. word is he still the same / word is he got hit by temporary/ word is his heart opened up a pink flamingo came out but hes still going with that girl named after a black panther / word is hes dead but omg that seems so mysterious / word is maybe if i use him enough for his skills he doesn't mind it / until he drops dead from all that paint that he abused / when we looked at the canvas hed only used the blues / word is he still love you boo / my muse / word is that he died tryna get one more kiss. Word is.

Looking at the moon like i heard a warewolf/ thinking bout the scare wolf/i dont feel like that no more / cuz i lost all of that impending doom and lifted up my silly gloom / lord knows no ones left to / i practiced telling you sorry in front of the mirror/ reading murakami and thinking clearer / driving in tonight its not numb i feel her / i was in it more than youd believe /its not your place youre bigger than this place / cant u see / i never was good at being afraid / eating lobster from that white mans place / trying to not to laugh when they talk about all that hate / i exude the talent of skills not needed in the workplace / sleep on me because my audience is robert in the car / burn your jordans when your mom asks if you are vegan / tape your favourite mixtape to the back of the chair leaning / wear your hair out girl / thinking it looks better without the blue light in your eyes / my funny valentine/ running out of time / no im not / i refuse to not treat now as kind / aiden might be far /but were never gonna stop /its a paradox/ hear us talk / no it never ends. Google drive deleted your soul and your skirt got pulled up folks / last year i should've been dead / but now we living for me / now me living for we / not trying to seem complex without seeming to complicated / take me i got a lot to offer / stupid fucking flowers in your hair / just kidding i aint a cynic i love it there.

(CHORUS) Never had no plan b no, No one had my back from day 1, Yeah you thought you could play and player son. Oh you thought you could play and player son. (VERSE) I wasted my life at the country club, thinking I could get it like a buck 50 what, I compartmentalize that state of mind, of being in love I caught the bullet and swallowed it for the both of us. Ive driven back and forth from your house to mine / so many solace nights/ that i no longer look where im going sometimes / i would be out of breath on the days when we used to run and talk / and my mouth would get so wet during the winter walks / sometimes the lights flicker like lightening / and i close my eyes and drive so you wont see what im hiding / what a year its been or should i say 4? / i only started living when we talked about my foot in the door/ i know what love means to me since way back / ive come so far that not even Greece can take that / open up my self and my heart aint callused as you think / you got friends that wanna fight? Get in a line, theres one around the block, i can tell they talk a lot, but do they know what's coming out their fucking mouth / oh please dont disrespect me, please just follow the rules/ ive never said nothing i didnt mean. i always keep my cool. I was never one to follow the rules. Watch the movie, read the book, please grow the up, i never got back up, its always been me. And i can imagine highways to visit you, and you bet your ass thats what ill do. Im just getting used to breaking patterns being truthful i know your trying. Just bear with me, or don't, but i know you will at the chealsea hotel. Rub your feet when your feet hurt, regular now special was averted. And ill sing you that to sleep. (CHORUS) Never had no plan b no, No one had my back from day 1, Yeah you thought you could play and player son. Oh you thought you could play and player son.

Taking pictures of you doesn't do any justice, the way the light shines on your fingers when youre doodling in my sketchbook on the dining room table with a stern look. Wholey concentrating, your my mayleene, forever hold my gaze forever sit with me. I like the way you feel godly in your body and understand the subtleties of my poems, how you reflect and analyze and sing them back to show it. I think its weird that you dont like “tomatoes” and that that accent comes out the funniest times, your moms seems to like me but i know theres so much more to you that meets the eye. Nickname me, pin me down on the beach, open your heart to me, try as much as i think you wont and ill be happy, watching netflix feel your bed kiss, the small of our backs, are you listening to the dialogue? Eating dinner not a snack. Trying to be funny suave. Being redundant about love is the best to be redundant about, tried to write this song a million times but never seem to get it right. Aight? Crumbling at your feet not to say i got a fetish with em, though i really tend to kiss em, imani fetish, i swear its you, hold on just listen. Hear me out i feel my knees go weak whenever i think that you said you know you love me.

I can see the future me driving home alone. While it rained so much i should have known.. I heard you not make a sound, the silence all around when you left me. I find myself spiraling to my own self ugly, and guess it’s just as well, because i never knew what to do when my best friend’s is just too busy. So i sunk deep into times when you once needed me. Laughs and romances, movie stoppers and love trances, reminding me of books I read while drawing at the crepe place in Davis. I thought there’d be a time when you be drawn to me, if I pushed off enough I’d have faith that come to some grand conclusion, that you’d have to see, that I was the one that you’d wanted to be, with finally, your very own better than the man from the T.V. (click) I can see the future me asleep at a desk in art school, your letter that id written a hundred times on my floor, your mixtapes playing iin the background, I know the sound. Of your sweet tenderlips, miss them no but not now, because I got through all of this, to make sure we’re safe and sound, remember trying to figure things out doesnt mean that I havent. I am growing, so thats progress, id hate to stay stagnant, I follow your advice, I’ll cut off half of all my ties, and wear the suit of life not so seriously, take every day with you as a blessing that I am not who I used to be. Take life not so seriously Imani/ James Baldwin if Beale Street Could Talk --- “I guess it can’t be too often that two people can laugh and make love, too ; make love because they are laughing, laugh because they’re making love. The love and the laughter come from the same place: but not many people go there.”

Who picked up the phone and asked me if i'm doing what i should? My white teacher told me my writing is actually pretty good. I wonder how you live with those blinders over your eyes. Thinking about titties while you’re studious through the night. No one will like me until i try a 100 times more, so i guess ill just stay at home and think of you crying to oscar. There are radio raheem's on every street, but definitely not the one you live on, thats cuz all we do here is fuck in basements and play beer pong. Everybody analyze your life! Ponder great topics and philosophize! No need to worry about your strife, moms made dinner and dads coming home tonight. Excuse me miss, yo i got a question, why i feel so desperate? Why I feel so desperate? Why I feel like this? I hate that I mumble these poems but i can see that, raps not mine, that doesn’t make me very smart though because I still do it anyway, cult-ural appr-priate. Hope you can see that, im never gonna be famous, pitchforks got their pitch fork in the indie kids that claim us, I dont see myself in the values of others? Does that mean that I am right or that everyone is wrong, Fargo, bang my head against the wall and decide fill the end of this poem - with blood.